film script 1, part 1

[this is long and rather tragic]

Notes on ‘behind the wall’ draft 2.

Am approaching this nervous, in trepidation hoping to find something new – something that helps bring the whole thing to life. I want to learn to write script better – horror in a way because it is in an important way a horror movie. I reckon I have neglected that in my work so far. That is why im starting with a study of The Sixth Sense. I might also prove useful for teaching.

- I want to learn how to be more honest in my response to things – also to get used to reading scripts.

What other films might this be like? I want to learn the tricks of the trade a bit better.

DONNIE DARKO – a tale of American dysfunction. Darko’s strange paranoid vision is enhanced and made more concrete by objectifying it.

The white noise on the telephone
The bizarre people – mute – their voices and emotions miles away – voice of ALIENATION.
- it is strange twist on Warvey [Harvey?] & Back to the future. It’s sense of 1988 revisited is strangely specific.

Unnerving. Unsettling shadowy

I still don’t understand the layout – why those sentences in capitals. It drawa my attention to certain moments

Maybe I need to put [?beels?] in to create suspense

*maybe David cuts himself to be blood brothers with the boy – good if psychologist finds the cuts
Maybe the boy makes him swear to never tell that he’s there

- He realises the boy isn’t real when its too late

*David stays up late watching horror movies while his father sleeps

*maybe there are some old paintings on the wall – Mr Alvaston was an artist

Eerie – shadow – shapes

-shadows that look like a face.

Fear – is lacking in behind the wall not genuinely frightening

*maybe the boy is watching David “I’m watching you David.” He feels this before he meets the boy.

- Now I have a feeling that there is a lot to change about the script – I want to make it more amazing and remarkable – less linear and obvious. More haunting.

In a way the boy is loneliness – something that people can share.

Am I right in thinking that in this script – dissolves separate sequences.

Thick pitch black inky darkness.

Wow – I wonder whether that is the correct version of Sixth Sense – there was certainly some shitty stuff I wasn’t expecting in the second half – reckon I should see the film again to understand better how it worked.

- I’m also tempted to go to that Japanese film to see how it is before I tackle Behind The Wall – reckon its too difficult to read just after Sixth Sense – need to be free to work on it tomorrow –

Possibly might work with some cards first – and then set to work on script. Will come tomorrow to Library and read script and make a start on the cards as well.

Need to clear my head before I move to quickly –

Need to look at the shapes of the scenes and re-examine them as well

*the boy is more scary

Short story by Graham green – the destructors.
















Notes on reading draft.

(1) opening – connects old man to boy – reduces tension. I can’t help but feel that this exposition happens better through davids eyes – makes the whole thing less mysterious.

(2) Perhaps I need to rethink the bullying scenario. David is bullied by one boy – who is showing off to his friends – the other boys watch

-possibly it’s a teacher bullying or I don’t know

(3) I am worried about Mr Alvaston’s story. Perhaps it needs to come from davids story.
- Mr Alvaston’s soty is subplot and needs to be weaved into the story better.

Maybe the terry and Ramona story should start up later in some way

-Maybe david phones mum and father is hurt

Maybe I should work only on David plot

-Mr Alvaston is subplot that becomes folded into the story.
Maybe I need to work on david’s character

When david has a secret the world – peoples lives seem small and petty.

-There is still a cards problem here – it doesn’t seem to fit together

I believe it is the story of David – what other problems does david have.

- Bullied – he doesn’t read so well teachers don’t like him. He is a boy alienated from the world.

He unpacks his boxes alone – there are clues to this character.

-David and Terry play video games together. He doesn’t tell his father about his problems at school. He doesn’t tell his father about his problems at school. He doesn’t want to admit that he is weak. He wants to protect his parents from problems – why is he bullied at school. – reckon I’m looking for a more elaborate story about this.

(I note – I had a wave of negativity/ depression earlier) but I seem to have got through it in some way.

Is he bullied because he’s smart.
-he fights back and he gets into trouble.
-he is grounded and told that his work is going downhill.

A PARENTS EVENING – perhaps
Mabe he has a bed in the maintenance room.


[more later...]